Love Yourself

Thursday, 31st March, 2016

Hey guys!

Yesterday, a friend of mine shared a piece of writing with me. It was about loving yourself in the simplest and most primal way; without society’s influence. It got me thinking about just how much we allow society’s invisible rules to guide the decisions we make in the love department.

The piece I read talked about how it wasn’t necessary to be in a relationship to be ‘loved’ or feel ‘loved’. Whoever wrote this, shared with the world their insight on how society claims that the only way you can say you’ve experienced love is by being with a partner, and how much that isn’t true.
There is love in everything we do, there is love in every friendship we’ve made, every hug we’ve given to our parents, every kiss we’ve placed on a sibling’s cheek, and every ruffle of a dog’s ear.
There is love in every smile we’ve tossed a passerby, every penny we’ve given a thriving artist busking on the street, every meal we’ve bought a stranger in need.

Love is in our humanity.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The piece I read emphasised how misinformed society is and how plagued we are by the expectations we place upon ourselves. We do not need ‘the one’ standing beside us in the form of a partner. The only difference between the love of a partner and the love of a parent is that you are sexually intimate with one and not the other. And doesn’t it make it all the more precious that someone can love you, for all that you are flaws and all, and not require anything in return? In a relationship, or when you’re dating, it’s expected that at sometime you need to show your love to the other by way of sex. It’s such a 180 from the purest love of parent and child, or siblings, or the first relationship we forge of our choosing; that of friendship. Neither of these relationships is perfect. I’m not saying that. I’ve fought with my sister countless times. I’ve gotten angry with my mum and dad for the silliest of reasons. But that’s what’s so beyond brilliant about Love. True love. It’s that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I could mess up in the worst possible way with my parents or my sister and they’ll love me. They my be angry at me, disappointed, hurt, annoyed, or indifferent to what I’ve done. But they will also love me. That won’t go away.

So when we have a love like that, why do we seek a validation of our self-worth from the presence of a partner or significant other? I’m not saying don’t be in a relationship. I’m not saying that at all! Nor am I saying that it’s a bad thing to be in one. A lot of the relationships people have with their partners morph into the most beautiful, soul-deep love we’ve ever known.
But a lot of the relationships also go very bad. We insist on striving to achieve the ‘perfect’ life by the unseen but ever-present timeline of love set my an unseen but ever-present societal council. By twenty-two you should’ve had your heart broken at least once. By thirty one you should be married and thinking about children. But forty-five you should be well into married life, living in a house with a dog and three children. And those that don’t conform to the mould are disregarded or hounded, depending on who around them ‘cares’. Why?

We need to love ourselves. We need to dig deep and find within ourselves the courage to be content and feel loved whether or not we have ‘the one’ standing beside us. We don’t need a partner to convince us that we’re beautiful, that we’re worth love. That we ARE loved. We never needed it.
Marriage and sex was simply a way to ensure we weren’t lonely and that the human race survived over the generations. But then we loved. We’ve always loved. And, while we may not ever fully understand the complex emotion, we do understand that it is vital but we’ve only just began to realise to what extent.

Shut yourself from all the societal pressures if you need to. Take a day off. Go offline. Find a way to cage yourself, throw away the key and learn all that makes you wonderful and free. You are the only one in the world that limits yourself. You are the only one in the world that will always love all that you are. Find a way to do that so that you can love another the way they deserve when they walk into your life, and so that they can love all that you are without having to really figure out why.

Be free.


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Until next time lovelies 🙂



Glow Sticks

Monday, 13th May 2013

Well it certainly has been a while…don’t hurt me!


I was listening to a song just now to wind down from the stress and workload of exam revision. Biology, my friends, is no walk in the park…unless of course you’re some new homosapien species with a super genius brain. Or if you actually work hard enough to understand the notes 😛

But that’s not the point. I decided to play one of those online radios and a song by Andy Grammer came on. It was ‘Miss Me’. I love that song and considering that fact that I was looking for a wind down I decided to watch the video. I realised I hadn’t actually bothered before now. Sill y me but that error in my judgement was corrected instantaneously!

So for those of you who haven’t heard the song it’s basically about moving on from the end of a relationship and building up again. The usual lol.

But the video was actually refreshing to watch. I love videos but that’s not why.

They introduced a common element that these broken-hearts could fuel their emotions into.

They used glow sticks and I loved how symbolic it was. And it got me thinking, like most things do, how beautifully metaphoric it was.

The idea that just because I’m broken doesn’t mean I won’t shine brighter. I mean we all know that glow sticks nowadays are used by teenagers (like me :P) when we go for these really big concerts and stuff and, while in that setting, the symbolise comfort and enjoyment, they could mean something totally different.

And I didn’t bother to view it that way until the video. I didn’t even think it was possible to.

I mean isn’t it cool how you have to crack a glow-stick before it shines? The same way when you’re cracked or ‘broken’ after whatever you’ve had to go through you can shine. Brighter than you did before and keep shining to be brighter still.

It’s actually REALLY sappy but it’s amazing. So totally amazing how something so mundane and overused can again be seen as a beacon of strength with a light we all have waiting to be unleashed.

It just makes me wonder how many more things we’ve overlooked and not understood the true potential of and I’d like to discover what they are. Maybe you have? If so then hold on to it. You wouldn’t want to lose something as precious as that now would you?

The song for this post is Miss Me by Andy Grammer for obvious reasons!

Enjoy 🙂

Peace! xo

Does it have ‘you’?

Tuesday, 23th October, 2012

You know that’s a strange question. When you get asked if something that you’ve done has a bit of you in it.

I find that funny cause at the end of the day you did whatever it is that is being discussed and that highly influences the out come.

It’s like when author’s get asked if they can relate to a certain character in the book or if the book is autobiographical or something along the lines. You wonder that despite the author maybe saying ‘no, the book is completely fiction’ it’s not really. Because as much as you’d like to think that none of what you do screams that you did it it does.

I mean with the whole author thing. There is no way that you can avoid basing a character or two on actual people that you’ve interacted with, that are probably very close to you. The book you are writing is exactly that, something that YOU wrote. You related how you perceive the world into an average of about 400 pages. The way your mind wants you to see the world. How your little bubble effects what your mind interprets.

It’s amazing how subconsciously a lot of the things we do or leave behind are heavily influenced by the way we judge and see things despite how many times we convince ourselves that we’re objective, that we can separate ourselves from what we do.

Lawyers! Most claim to lack morals or temporarily forget them when they get handed a case or take on one. It doesn’t pay to be subjective for them but why pick a particular case? Why choose to help one person before the other when given a choice? A small, no matter how miniscule, fraction of that is our thoughts on it. The way their minds judge what they see and that defines the way they fight a case. It’s startlingly important even if we don’t allow it to be.

That really amazes me. Our subconscious.

It really is wondrous 🙂

So the song probably has absolutely nothing to do with the subject of this post and at the same time it might have everything to do with it. Perception 🙂

Take care!

Peace 🙂


Lennon Style

Monday, 15th October, 2012

Firstly I wanna know how many people reading this are in love with the Beatles 🙂

Well whatever your response to the Beatles as a band is it doesn’t interfere with what I rant about 😛 I was just curious 🙂

Moving on!

So I was reading a biography on the Beatles a while ago and this quote caught my eye:

“For our last number, I’d like to ask for your help. Would the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry?”

                                                                                                      ~John Lennon

Well Lennon said this to their audience in 1963 when they performed at the prestigious Royal Command Performance in London.

I found this quite interesting because of how true the meaning behind it is. The rich like to flaunt what they have. It’s a little strange but understandable. I mean why wouldn’t you want people to know you can afford some of the things that they can’t? It gives some people a sense of pride I’d imagine.

I’m not saying that that’s the mentality of all rich people. No. But most of them do live their lives like that.

And I just couldn’t stop laughing.

How ridiculous would that be? People rattling they’re diamond necklaces or gold bracelets? How delightfully comical! And that gets you thinking. The fact that they’re wearing enough jewelry that could rattle and replace having to applaud is barbaric! I mean why would you need to wear all that to show people that you’re wealthy?

Lennon put it so gracefully. Nobody really cares. And he tastefully told them exactly how idiotic their appearance was in terms of the amount of ‘bling’ they had on.

I get that someone else’s perception on what Lennon said would be different. Someone else might say that he didn’t mean that at all. In reality he was literally just making a comment on the fact that the people in the audience were stinking rich because of where they were performing and could in fact do exactly what he stated if they wanted to.

I agree with that completely! And I thought that at first. But then I sat there and re-read it and just burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.

You can’t deny the fact that there are those really deranged people out there that carry their closet on them everywhere they go.

And it’s like ”People! We know you’re rich! You don’t need to keep shoving it in our faces!”

And they wonder why they get robbed…

I realise also that I rant. But honestly I mean no offense to wealthy people. I’m glad that you’re all as prosperous as you want to be and are prospering still. I’m just trying to understand the some that do what I’ve talked about.

I’d imagine it would be a result of ‘easy’ money or inherited money.

The only thing I have to say to that would be…”GO JOLIE PEOPLE!!” 😛

The song was quite fitting (as you’d find I try to make sure most of the songs I put into the post are related to the post somehow).

If in anyway someone found this offensive or disliked it due to reasons that relate to offense then I apologise and feel free to tell me what exactly you disliked. Otherwise? ENJOY!

And if you’re wondering what the name of the biography is it’s:

Meet The Beatles by Steven D. Stark 

Till next time!

Take care 🙂




Sunday, 14th October, 2012

Well I was thinking today, while I was running the stupid errands that have become a vital part of my everyday life (cue ‘eye roll’ here), I realised something.


You know how they’re always there even when you can’t see them? How you know that if they’re not above you right now they’re definitely above someone else?



Their consistency.

It’s so strange how we can go around saying that we don’t have a constant in our lives and forget that we actually have many.

It’s just never the constant we want.

We want that constant in family. Or heck even in chemistry! The one we’d die to have with someone we’re crushing on silently. We allude ourselves into thinking that said person will be the constant. We forget that, just like in the subject with constants in acids and bases and all that stuff we’ll never need again, the reality is too hard to produce.

But that just it! Isn’t that a sign? Some great scholar telling us that the stuff we learn in school and the stuff we want to learn outside it are linked? So, if chemistry in school is psycho then the chemistry outside it must be as well. Right?

And why are we so superficial to ignore the beautiful constants around us? The clouds. Those wondrous miracles that, although change shape, never leave.

And it’s not just the clouds. There’s that certainty that there will be night after day. Day after night. That old lady from across the street that always catches you stealing her fruit. Or that book on your bedside table that, unless you put elsewhere, will remain exactly where it is for you to pick up and take off from where you stopped.


They’re all around us but we never see them.

It’s strange isn’t it?

To stick with the theme of this post I figured a song on clouds would be fitting. I didn’t realise just how many there are! Maybe there are those really smart ones amongst us that caught sight of their constant and appreciated it. Strange how many more are ignorant.

So the song might not directly be linked to clouds as thing…kind of. But it works! And it makes you feel better 😛

Till next time 🙂



New Beginnings

Saturday, 13th October, 2012

So I don’t really know what this is. Thoughts? Rants? Indecisions? ..Actually ‘indecisions’ sounds pretty accurate at this point. Anyway. Whatever it is? It is.

I was thinking one morning ‘What am I doing with my life? Like seriously what is going on? What am I living? My life? Or somebody else’s?’ I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one out there pondering on life’s greatest question. Why. It’s my biggest question to life definitely.

The answers to these questions, to The Question, I don’t have yet. And I don’t know when I will. But answer them I shall and maybe one of you can answer you’re biggest question through it. And if not then just humour me 😛 This can’t be all that bad. Can it?

I understand that this isn’t the most out-there, I-wanna-draw-you-into-me introductions. To be honest I can’t even call this an introduction. But here it is.

Open, random and honest.

Just how I like it 🙂

So I shall depart with a song and since it’s a Saturday and the night’s still young (or hasn’t even appeared yet for some) I figured this one would be appropriate 😛

Peace out!!