Love Yourself

Thursday, 31st March, 2016

Hey guys!

Yesterday, a friend of mine shared a piece of writing with me. It was about loving yourself in the simplest and most primal way; without society’s influence. It got me thinking about just how much we allow society’s invisible rules to guide the decisions we make in the love department.

The piece I read talked about how it wasn’t necessary to be in a relationship to be ‘loved’ or feel ‘loved’. Whoever wrote this, shared with the world their insight on how society claims that the only way you can say you’ve experienced love is by being with a partner, and how much that isn’t true.
There is love in everything we do, there is love in every friendship we’ve made, every hug we’ve given to our parents, every kiss we’ve placed on a sibling’s cheek, and every ruffle of a dog’s ear.
There is love in every smile we’ve tossed a passerby, every penny we’ve given a thriving artist busking on the street, every meal we’ve bought a stranger in need.

Love is in our humanity.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The piece I read emphasised how misinformed society is and how plagued we are by the expectations we place upon ourselves. We do not need ‘the one’ standing beside us in the form of a partner. The only difference between the love of a partner and the love of a parent is that you are sexually intimate with one and not the other. And doesn’t it make it all the more precious that someone can love you, for all that you are flaws and all, and not require anything in return? In a relationship, or when you’re dating, it’s expected that at sometime you need to show your love to the other by way of sex. It’s such a 180 from the purest love of parent and child, or siblings, or the first relationship we forge of our choosing; that of friendship. Neither of these relationships is perfect. I’m not saying that. I’ve fought with my sister countless times. I’ve gotten angry with my mum and dad for the silliest of reasons. But that’s what’s so beyond brilliant about Love. True love. It’s that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I could mess up in the worst possible way with my parents or my sister and they’ll love me. They my be angry at me, disappointed, hurt, annoyed, or indifferent to what I’ve done. But they will also love me. That won’t go away.

So when we have a love like that, why do we seek a validation of our self-worth from the presence of a partner or significant other? I’m not saying don’t be in a relationship. I’m not saying that at all! Nor am I saying that it’s a bad thing to be in one. A lot of the relationships people have with their partners morph into the most beautiful, soul-deep love we’ve ever known.
But a lot of the relationships also go very bad. We insist on striving to achieve the ‘perfect’ life by the unseen but ever-present timeline of love set my an unseen but ever-present societal council. By twenty-two you should’ve had your heart broken at least once. By thirty one you should be married and thinking about children. But forty-five you should be well into married life, living in a house with a dog and three children. And those that don’t conform to the mould are disregarded or hounded, depending on who around them ‘cares’. Why?

We need to love ourselves. We need to dig deep and find within ourselves the courage to be content and feel loved whether or not we have ‘the one’ standing beside us. We don’t need a partner to convince us that we’re beautiful, that we’re worth love. That we ARE loved. We never needed it.
Marriage and sex was simply a way to ensure we weren’t lonely and that the human race survived over the generations. But then we loved. We’ve always loved. And, while we may not ever fully understand the complex emotion, we do understand that it is vital but we’ve only just began to realise to what extent.

Shut yourself from all the societal pressures if you need to. Take a day off. Go offline. Find a way to cage yourself, throw away the key and learn all that makes you wonderful and free. You are the only one in the world that limits yourself. You are the only one in the world that will always love all that you are. Find a way to do that so that you can love another the way they deserve when they walk into your life, and so that they can love all that you are without having to really figure out why.

Be free.

 

>My Instagram Poetry Page  <<

Until next time lovelies 🙂

xo

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I understand

Sunday, 14th September 2014

‘Don’t worry. I understand.’ I’ve used that line far too many times and it’s never hurt less each time I use it.

I won’t understand. I don’t think I will ever understand why it’s okay to point out the faults and misgivings in someone and then say ‘I hope you understand. I only mean to help you.’

Well you know what? I’m tired of understanding! I’m tired of saying that I do when I honestly don’t. What makes the derogatory way with which you speak to me and the people I love okay? How does anything ever begin to justify the way you spoke those words to me? There are ways to tell me I was wrong. I’ll admit that I was. I made a mistake. Several in fact. But I’ve apologized. I’ve rectified them and I’ve tried not to repeat them. I’m still trying. It doesn’t help when you dig that grave up and rip open what I try to bury and change. I’m capable of changing. I already have but you’ll never see it because you refuse to look for it. To you I’ll always be that girl that could never live up to your expectations. The girl that failed you and continues to do so. I no longer care what you say about me. It hurts but that’s for me to know. For me alone to know.

However, I refuse to let you do the same to her. She has me. She’ll always have me even if we fight and argue. Our quarrels make us stronger and I know that. I will never condone you saying the same things to her to help her ‘grow’ as you put it. Constantly reminding her that she didn’t succeed in what she’d set out to do is no way to help her grow. Making her cry, reminding her that she disappointed you, not saying that you forgive her and that everything will be okay. Not holding her when she cries because it hurts her knowing she didn’t achieve the goal she’d set for herself, but instead saying it’s her own fault for not working when she’d clearly done so. Not being mindful of the fact that people talk. They always have regarding us, and despite you knowing that you being the worst critic. The worst bully. None of these things will help her grow. None of these things will help her move on. They’ll only break her like they did me.

I implore you to stop. Please.

Just stop.

 

Human?

Sunday, 7th September 2014

 

When what you do isn’t good enough is it even worth trying?

It’s quite a depressing thought but when life hands you lemons sometimes they’re too sour to make lemonade with, you just need to throw them out. I’ve tried finding my way but the leash on my neck gets yanked before I can get far enough to touch greener pastures. I’m reminded that I’m not worth it. That my purpose is not self discovery and growth, but rather fulfilling duties to please others: parents, relatives, friends. It comes to a point where I don’t know who I am anymore or whether it’s worth finding out. Now I’m too scared to. I might not like what I see; a coward that can’t tell people to stop, a pushover that doesn’t want to hurt people because she knows all too well just how much it hurts.

It makes you wonder whether people see it and turn a blind eye because they simply don’t care about you or whether people really never want to delve deeper because then they’d have to help pick up the pieces. It boils down to whether they can’t be bothered enough about you, or just simply can’t be bothered.

So it brings me back to my question from earlier. Is it worth trying? Why try? I don’t know anymore. I’m going through motions, afraid of stepping on feet, forsaking dreams and hobbies because I simply have nowhere to put them. I’m filled to the brim with instructions and forced aspirations I can’t remember what I wanted to do in the first place. And if I can’t remember it, if I couldn’t fight for it, did I ever deserve to want it?

Now someone else’s dream is mine and I’m living it. Someone else’s words are mine and I’m saying them. Someone else’s thoughts are mine and I’m thinking them. Someone else’s life is mine and I’m living it. I’m surviving it.

So what does that make me?

 

 

Glow Sticks

Monday, 13th May 2013

Well it certainly has been a while…don’t hurt me!

So…

I was listening to a song just now to wind down from the stress and workload of exam revision. Biology, my friends, is no walk in the park…unless of course you’re some new homosapien species with a super genius brain. Or if you actually work hard enough to understand the notes 😛

But that’s not the point. I decided to play one of those online radios and a song by Andy Grammer came on. It was ‘Miss Me’. I love that song and considering that fact that I was looking for a wind down I decided to watch the video. I realised I hadn’t actually bothered before now. Sill y me but that error in my judgement was corrected instantaneously!

So for those of you who haven’t heard the song it’s basically about moving on from the end of a relationship and building up again. The usual lol.

But the video was actually refreshing to watch. I love videos but that’s not why.

They introduced a common element that these broken-hearts could fuel their emotions into.

They used glow sticks and I loved how symbolic it was. And it got me thinking, like most things do, how beautifully metaphoric it was.

The idea that just because I’m broken doesn’t mean I won’t shine brighter. I mean we all know that glow sticks nowadays are used by teenagers (like me :P) when we go for these really big concerts and stuff and, while in that setting, the symbolise comfort and enjoyment, they could mean something totally different.

And I didn’t bother to view it that way until the video. I didn’t even think it was possible to.

I mean isn’t it cool how you have to crack a glow-stick before it shines? The same way when you’re cracked or ‘broken’ after whatever you’ve had to go through you can shine. Brighter than you did before and keep shining to be brighter still.

It’s actually REALLY sappy but it’s amazing. So totally amazing how something so mundane and overused can again be seen as a beacon of strength with a light we all have waiting to be unleashed.

It just makes me wonder how many more things we’ve overlooked and not understood the true potential of and I’d like to discover what they are. Maybe you have? If so then hold on to it. You wouldn’t want to lose something as precious as that now would you?

The song for this post is Miss Me by Andy Grammer for obvious reasons!

Enjoy 🙂

Peace! xo

Time

Saturday, 23th March, 2013

Wow…well it’s been a while! And considering this is my first post in 2013 I’d have to say Happy New Year to everyone 🙂

A lot has happened between now and my last post and that got me thinking (like most things usually do) how much time can pass so quickly without you even realising it!

It’s like ‘Gosh I want to be able to do this by the end of the month’ and then the end of said month arrives and you haven’t even started! Where did all that time go? And that makes you realise just how important time is! And not just that but how uncontrollable it is. Once it’s gone it never comes back no matter how much you need it to.

Time is a very important factor in my life right now with exams around the corner and some road block or another just popping up infront of me. It’s one of those things that makes you wonder if someone out there is out to get you with all the crap that get’s thrown your way.

People say time heals all wounds and as much as it can make a person stronger it can break one too. How though? Who gave Time all of that importance? Us. What if we’d never given Time the value it has in our lives? Would it have made a difference? What if we didn’t invent the sundials and water clocks and just drifted through our lives without time as it’s guide. No one would say to you, you were late or early or you have to stop cause you’ve run out of time.

I was reminded of this poem I was made to read once. It’s called Half-Past Two by U. A. Fanthorpe and I realised how fitting such a scenario would be. How much we’d be able to appreciate fully because time isn’t a hindrance. How blissful it would be to be transported to a place where time was never born, never existed and couldn’t waver you. It would be up to you to decide how long you wanted to take understanding the little itty bitty things that make up our lives. The little things we fail to see.

It reminds me of a post I had earlier about clouds; the constants we fail to see. Maybe we’d see them more if we had time?

Maybe we’d really be a hell of a lot happier without it.

Well who knows 🙂

I was torn between the four songs I could put up for this post. The other three (in case you wanted to listen to them) were;

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnQ8N1KacJc  << Good Riddance (The Time Has Come) ~ Green Day
  2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzcWwmwChVE << Time Is On My Side ~ The Rolling Stones
  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntm1YfehK7U << Time ~ Pink Floyd

I guess that’s it for now…

Take care!

Peace! xo

Lennon Style

Monday, 15th October, 2012

Firstly I wanna know how many people reading this are in love with the Beatles 🙂

Well whatever your response to the Beatles as a band is it doesn’t interfere with what I rant about 😛 I was just curious 🙂

Moving on!

So I was reading a biography on the Beatles a while ago and this quote caught my eye:

“For our last number, I’d like to ask for your help. Would the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewelry?”

                                                                                                      ~John Lennon

Well Lennon said this to their audience in 1963 when they performed at the prestigious Royal Command Performance in London.

I found this quite interesting because of how true the meaning behind it is. The rich like to flaunt what they have. It’s a little strange but understandable. I mean why wouldn’t you want people to know you can afford some of the things that they can’t? It gives some people a sense of pride I’d imagine.

I’m not saying that that’s the mentality of all rich people. No. But most of them do live their lives like that.

And I just couldn’t stop laughing.

How ridiculous would that be? People rattling they’re diamond necklaces or gold bracelets? How delightfully comical! And that gets you thinking. The fact that they’re wearing enough jewelry that could rattle and replace having to applaud is barbaric! I mean why would you need to wear all that to show people that you’re wealthy?

Lennon put it so gracefully. Nobody really cares. And he tastefully told them exactly how idiotic their appearance was in terms of the amount of ‘bling’ they had on.

I get that someone else’s perception on what Lennon said would be different. Someone else might say that he didn’t mean that at all. In reality he was literally just making a comment on the fact that the people in the audience were stinking rich because of where they were performing and could in fact do exactly what he stated if they wanted to.

I agree with that completely! And I thought that at first. But then I sat there and re-read it and just burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.

You can’t deny the fact that there are those really deranged people out there that carry their closet on them everywhere they go.

And it’s like ”People! We know you’re rich! You don’t need to keep shoving it in our faces!”

And they wonder why they get robbed…

I realise also that I rant. But honestly I mean no offense to wealthy people. I’m glad that you’re all as prosperous as you want to be and are prospering still. I’m just trying to understand the some that do what I’ve talked about.

I’d imagine it would be a result of ‘easy’ money or inherited money.

The only thing I have to say to that would be…”GO JOLIE PEOPLE!!” 😛

The song was quite fitting (as you’d find I try to make sure most of the songs I put into the post are related to the post somehow).

If in anyway someone found this offensive or disliked it due to reasons that relate to offense then I apologise and feel free to tell me what exactly you disliked. Otherwise? ENJOY!

And if you’re wondering what the name of the biography is it’s:

Meet The Beatles by Steven D. Stark 

Till next time!

Take care 🙂

Peace!!

xo

Clouds

Sunday, 14th October, 2012

Well I was thinking today, while I was running the stupid errands that have become a vital part of my everyday life (cue ‘eye roll’ here), I realised something.

Clouds.

You know how they’re always there even when you can’t see them? How you know that if they’re not above you right now they’re definitely above someone else?

Yeah.

That.

Their consistency.

It’s so strange how we can go around saying that we don’t have a constant in our lives and forget that we actually have many.

It’s just never the constant we want.

We want that constant in family. Or heck even in chemistry! The one we’d die to have with someone we’re crushing on silently. We allude ourselves into thinking that said person will be the constant. We forget that, just like in the subject with constants in acids and bases and all that stuff we’ll never need again, the reality is too hard to produce.

But that just it! Isn’t that a sign? Some great scholar telling us that the stuff we learn in school and the stuff we want to learn outside it are linked? So, if chemistry in school is psycho then the chemistry outside it must be as well. Right?

And why are we so superficial to ignore the beautiful constants around us? The clouds. Those wondrous miracles that, although change shape, never leave.

And it’s not just the clouds. There’s that certainty that there will be night after day. Day after night. That old lady from across the street that always catches you stealing her fruit. Or that book on your bedside table that, unless you put elsewhere, will remain exactly where it is for you to pick up and take off from where you stopped.

Constants.

They’re all around us but we never see them.

It’s strange isn’t it?

To stick with the theme of this post I figured a song on clouds would be fitting. I didn’t realise just how many there are! Maybe there are those really smart ones amongst us that caught sight of their constant and appreciated it. Strange how many more are ignorant.

So the song might not directly be linked to clouds as thing…kind of. But it works! And it makes you feel better 😛

Till next time 🙂

Peace!!!

xo