Who’s Pain Is Bigger?

Wednesday, 1st April 2015

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on my blog. I guess it’s just that easy to be swept up with Life. I thought I’d be one of those people that would have everything under control, but you don’t realise how easy it is for days to merge into weeks, months, years and you find yourself looking back ten years from now thinking ‘when did all that happen?’ or ‘where did the time go?’.

As cliché as that is, it happens. I mean there’s always truth behind every cliché.

Well, like my past blog posts, I don’t have a specific topic to touch on. I just read a post on the Humans of New York about a guy who lost his wife when she gave birth to their child and I got choked up thinking about just how much pain he’d have had to go through.

It made me feel guilty.

You know those days when you’re feeling low and everything about your life up till now stops making sense? You’re sitting there wondering what the hell you’re even doing with the gift you’ve been given and you feel even lower because, even though you have the resources to make your life great, you’re just sitting in a corner or on the bed feeling sorry for yourself and the troubles you’re going through.

I do that sometimes. I don’t plan it, but it happens and everything that’s bothering me or stressing me out just bubbles over and I cry. I cry so hard for myself and for the people surrounding me and for the lack of courage I have. I can’t tell anyone how I’m really feeling and it’s not because they wouldn’t listen or care but it’s because when I say it out loud it starts to feel so small and stupid that I feel even worse for thinking that something like this could even be classified as a problem that causes me pain. Then I read or hear about how much worse other people have it and I feel like an ungrateful, selfish little girl because my troubles aren’t even a tenth as bad as theirs are and if they can pick themselves up and move on and try to be happy, then why can’t I?

It makes me feel like I don’t have a right to be upset, but that’s not true.

How does anyone classify pain and the degree with which it effects individuals? How can something so abstract such as pain and happiness even be compared? No two people are the same and no two people feel the same way about the same thing. And yet we still find ourselves comparing these abstract emotions. It’s a twisted form of self-masochism where we make ourselves feel worse by realising that we shouldn’t even be feeling bad in the first place.

I’m just rambling on and on about something that I can’t express clearly but it’s so present in my life and I’m sure in the lives of everyone else on this earth, if not now then later, and it amazes me that despite knowing the facts we still compare ourselves to other people.

Not just via emotions but through materialism and vanity.

It needs to stop.

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Glow Sticks

Monday, 13th May 2013

Well it certainly has been a while…don’t hurt me!

So…

I was listening to a song just now to wind down from the stress and workload of exam revision. Biology, my friends, is no walk in the park…unless of course you’re some new homosapien species with a super genius brain. Or if you actually work hard enough to understand the notes 😛

But that’s not the point. I decided to play one of those online radios and a song by Andy Grammer came on. It was ‘Miss Me’. I love that song and considering that fact that I was looking for a wind down I decided to watch the video. I realised I hadn’t actually bothered before now. Sill y me but that error in my judgement was corrected instantaneously!

So for those of you who haven’t heard the song it’s basically about moving on from the end of a relationship and building up again. The usual lol.

But the video was actually refreshing to watch. I love videos but that’s not why.

They introduced a common element that these broken-hearts could fuel their emotions into.

They used glow sticks and I loved how symbolic it was. And it got me thinking, like most things do, how beautifully metaphoric it was.

The idea that just because I’m broken doesn’t mean I won’t shine brighter. I mean we all know that glow sticks nowadays are used by teenagers (like me :P) when we go for these really big concerts and stuff and, while in that setting, the symbolise comfort and enjoyment, they could mean something totally different.

And I didn’t bother to view it that way until the video. I didn’t even think it was possible to.

I mean isn’t it cool how you have to crack a glow-stick before it shines? The same way when you’re cracked or ‘broken’ after whatever you’ve had to go through you can shine. Brighter than you did before and keep shining to be brighter still.

It’s actually REALLY sappy but it’s amazing. So totally amazing how something so mundane and overused can again be seen as a beacon of strength with a light we all have waiting to be unleashed.

It just makes me wonder how many more things we’ve overlooked and not understood the true potential of and I’d like to discover what they are. Maybe you have? If so then hold on to it. You wouldn’t want to lose something as precious as that now would you?

The song for this post is Miss Me by Andy Grammer for obvious reasons!

Enjoy 🙂

Peace! xo

Time

Saturday, 23th March, 2013

Wow…well it’s been a while! And considering this is my first post in 2013 I’d have to say Happy New Year to everyone 🙂

A lot has happened between now and my last post and that got me thinking (like most things usually do) how much time can pass so quickly without you even realising it!

It’s like ‘Gosh I want to be able to do this by the end of the month’ and then the end of said month arrives and you haven’t even started! Where did all that time go? And that makes you realise just how important time is! And not just that but how uncontrollable it is. Once it’s gone it never comes back no matter how much you need it to.

Time is a very important factor in my life right now with exams around the corner and some road block or another just popping up infront of me. It’s one of those things that makes you wonder if someone out there is out to get you with all the crap that get’s thrown your way.

People say time heals all wounds and as much as it can make a person stronger it can break one too. How though? Who gave Time all of that importance? Us. What if we’d never given Time the value it has in our lives? Would it have made a difference? What if we didn’t invent the sundials and water clocks and just drifted through our lives without time as it’s guide. No one would say to you, you were late or early or you have to stop cause you’ve run out of time.

I was reminded of this poem I was made to read once. It’s called Half-Past Two by U. A. Fanthorpe and I realised how fitting such a scenario would be. How much we’d be able to appreciate fully because time isn’t a hindrance. How blissful it would be to be transported to a place where time was never born, never existed and couldn’t waver you. It would be up to you to decide how long you wanted to take understanding the little itty bitty things that make up our lives. The little things we fail to see.

It reminds me of a post I had earlier about clouds; the constants we fail to see. Maybe we’d see them more if we had time?

Maybe we’d really be a hell of a lot happier without it.

Well who knows 🙂

I was torn between the four songs I could put up for this post. The other three (in case you wanted to listen to them) were;

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnQ8N1KacJc  << Good Riddance (The Time Has Come) ~ Green Day
  2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzcWwmwChVE << Time Is On My Side ~ The Rolling Stones
  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntm1YfehK7U << Time ~ Pink Floyd

I guess that’s it for now…

Take care!

Peace! xo